Learning To Let Go

Sunday, November 14, 2010

As a first time mother, I am slowly learning things together as we grow up in our own different ways. My daughter is now four.

One of the things I've realized is that as my child begins to be more independent, she is also more vulnerable to situations in which I have no control (or barely have) over. This is very hard for me to accept.

As a baby, I cradled her in my arms, took to her every need, making sure that she had what she needed before she even wanted it. I tried my best to shoo off mosquitoes, pests and anything that might lead to her discomfort.

Now that she's in big school, she has her own friends, along with that comes the bullies. She is braver now and doesn't cling to me as much. She tries to carry on conversations with older people which sometimes leads to her feelings getting hurt (the odd times she is met by unusually cruel ones).

All these break my heart. Now I know what it means to want to shoulder the pain instead. Sadly, I can't and as she grows up, I know that she will have to learn to fight her own battles and I will be around less and less due to her own choosing. But this I also know...while she still sees me as a hero in her life, I will be her biggest fan, her warmest pillow, her most caring coach always waiting for her on the sidelines with my arms wide open.

No comments:

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Learning To Let Go

As a first time mother, I am slowly learning things together as we grow up in our own different ways. My daughter is now four.

One of the things I've realized is that as my child begins to be more independent, she is also more vulnerable to situations in which I have no control (or barely have) over. This is very hard for me to accept.

As a baby, I cradled her in my arms, took to her every need, making sure that she had what she needed before she even wanted it. I tried my best to shoo off mosquitoes, pests and anything that might lead to her discomfort.

Now that she's in big school, she has her own friends, along with that comes the bullies. She is braver now and doesn't cling to me as much. She tries to carry on conversations with older people which sometimes leads to her feelings getting hurt (the odd times she is met by unusually cruel ones).

All these break my heart. Now I know what it means to want to shoulder the pain instead. Sadly, I can't and as she grows up, I know that she will have to learn to fight her own battles and I will be around less and less due to her own choosing. But this I also know...while she still sees me as a hero in her life, I will be her biggest fan, her warmest pillow, her most caring coach always waiting for her on the sidelines with my arms wide open.

No comments: