I snap, I scream, I express my anger in different ways. I try to blame someone or something for what has happened and i simmer momentarily in the hot-headed mess that I personally created. It seems stupid now that I am writing it down but in truth most of our actions done in brash moments of decision making almost always end up with stupid results.
The reason for my breakdown this morning is compounded stress. A maid who left me hanging when I needed her most, deadlines, a schedule I can almost not keep up with, travel dates that were set way before our helper left, chores, errands, upkeep of our home and trying to please people around me...
And I end up hurting those who mean the most to me.
I know I am not alone in this matter, I know millions of other women feel this way and feel guilty about it but I don't think we should.
As women, we are born shock absorbers and pillars. We are the strongest species around but even the strongest have their weak spots and it is okay to give in to them once in awhile to stay sane.
But rather than stewing and feeling bad for ourselves, it is most important to breathe.
Tensions grow when I don't give it time to heal, time to stop, time to breathe and remember all that I have, all the people I love, what's done for me without my needing to ask and all those who love me unconditionally. I realize this and then it's okay. Just a glitch that is part of life and something that I won't even remember 5 years from now.
A friend of mine mentioned a few nights ago how awful last year was for him, it got me thinking about my life these past few years. Sure things haven't been easy but I no longer see them as bad years like I might have when I was a few years younger. I guess it's true that life is what you make of it. Things are neither good nor bad, they're just occurrences, it's how you feel about it that makes the difference.
So there, I guess all I'm really trying to say is that we all need a moment or two for ourselves to breathe no matter how busy our schedules may seem. There is always time, we need to make time.
Thanks for taking the time to read. I am writing during traffic in my car en route to my destination and this has been a very helpful healing process for me. I hope you all have a great week ahead! :)