despicable me 2 - what you didn't know about them minions. (rated r)

The best theories are born on the loo. That being said, welcome to another afternoon of useless brain farts, verbalized.

Today's topic, the seemingly innocent minions from Despicable Me 2.

Before I go on, let me just say that this is totally useless, silly and pointless. You will not gain anything out of reading this post so if you choose to close your browser right now, I don't blame you, if you're still here, well then I guess we both have too much free time on our hands. (get a job you slacker, you!)

I am mainly doing this to flex my writing muscle and to be able to use the phrase "of epic freudian proportions" in a paragraph because it makes me feel smart, self-important and intellectual. 

Back to the topic at hand. Those Minions and my prize-winning phrase.

(If you are the type that gets offended by phallic references and anti-feminist remarks, go now.)

I don't know who was responsible for creating these characters but I believe that whoever dreamed them up suffers from a terrible genital fixation of epic freudian proportions.  Case in point, the evil minion who in my very humble opinion, resembles a very un-groomed bitch pussy on a bad hair day. Notice the stubble at the bottom and wiry, out-of control hair concentrated mostly on top? Looks familiar? To further cement my theory is a well-loved phrase among my sapphic sisters called (insert creepy drum roll)..."The Purple Pussy". The Purple Pussy is what Blue Balls are to sexually deprived men.
And now we have Stewart the Minion. Maybe you can answer this one for me with the help of a few clues...what is yellow, short, one-eyed with sparse hair scattered across and a heavy-bottom? A Chinese penis - the junior version of the feared one-eyed monsters. On second thought, he could well be Homer Simpson's beef thermometer as well.  Has anybody seen it?
Now that I've pointed these out to you, does it seem all that far-fetched? I don't think so.

Kidding aside, go see the movie. It is so good. I have such a hangover from it that Dennis has even started calling me "Bapple" from an unintelligible phrase uttered by Stuart in one of his videos. I have a fixation on the yellow dudes, minions not asian penis-es.

Thank you for pardoning my very politically incorrect, and tasteless post. No offense meant, it's all in good fun. Just to let you know, I love vaginas and penises in all shapes, colors and sizes without a shred of prejudice.

Ha-ha. Okay, enough. Again, no offense. :P

should i even post this???



jawsmayobanico said…
HAHAHA!!! You have a very "creative and playful mind" !